What Makes an Obituary Truly Meaningful?
An obituary is more than an announcement of death — it is a lasting record of a life lived. A well-crafted obituary honors the person's unique story, provides comfort to the grieving, and creates a historical document for future generations. Whether you are writing for a newspaper, a funeral home website, or a personal memorial page, this guide will walk you through every step of the process.
Step 1: Gather the Essential Information
Before you begin writing, collect the key facts about your loved one. Having this information organized will make the writing process far less overwhelming during a difficult time.
- Full legal name (and any nicknames or maiden names)
- Date and place of birth
- Date and place of death
- Surviving family members (spouse, children, grandchildren, siblings)
- Predeceased family members
- Educational background and career highlights
- Military service, if applicable
- Community involvement, hobbies, and passions
- Service details — funeral, memorial, or celebration of life information
Step 2: Choose Your Structure
Most obituaries follow one of two approaches:
- Chronological: Begins at birth and moves through life events in order. This works well for longer obituaries with a rich life story.
- Thematic: Organized around the person's defining qualities, relationships, or passions. This can feel more personal and emotionally resonant.
For newspaper submissions, you may be limited to 150–300 words. For online memorials, you have more flexibility to tell a fuller story.
Step 3: Open with Impact
The opening line sets the tone for everything that follows. Rather than beginning with "It is with great sadness…" (an overused phrase), try something that immediately conveys who this person was.
Example: "Margaret Elaine Holloway spent 82 years making every room she entered a little warmer — a gift she shared freely as a schoolteacher, a mother of four, and a tireless volunteer."
Step 4: Tell Their Story
This is the heart of the obituary. Move beyond bare facts and bring the person to life:
- What did they love? What were their hobbies or passions?
- What were they known for among family and friends?
- What challenges did they overcome?
- What impact did they have on their community?
- What phrases, sayings, or habits defined them?
Small, specific details — a favorite recipe, a beloved dog, a decades-long friendship — do more to honor a person than generic praise ever could.
Step 5: List Survivors and Those Who Preceded Them
Traditionally, obituaries list immediate surviving family members. This section follows the narrative portion and is typically formatted as a simple paragraph or list. Always confirm the accuracy of names and relationships with the family before publishing.
Step 6: Include Service Information
If a memorial service is planned, include the date, time, and location. If the family prefers privacy, you can simply note that "a private service will be held." You may also mention if donations in lieu of flowers are welcome, along with the preferred charity.
Step 7: Close with a Meaningful Farewell
End the obituary with a sentence or two that captures the essence of the person's legacy — something the family and friends will carry with them long after the page is turned.
Example: "Those who knew her say she never met a stranger. She will be deeply missed and long remembered."
Final Tips
- Proofread carefully — errors in names or dates can cause lasting distress.
- Ask a trusted family member to review before submitting.
- Keep a digital copy for your own family records.
- Write in the third person for most publications, but first person can work beautifully for personal memorial pages.
Writing an obituary is an act of love. Take your time, be specific, and let the truth of who they were shine through every word.